Monday, July 30, 2012

Day 21 - Tell a friend she's beautiful.

We all know that as women we love it when someone tells us we are beautiful. But it's very rare for a friend to tell another friend they are beautiful. The world we live in is twisted and broken and for your entire life you will be subjected to all kinds of lies that tell you that you are not enough. You are not thin enough. You are not tan enough. You are not smooth, soft, shiny, firm, tight, fit, silky, blonde, hairless enough. Your teeth are not white enough. Your legs are not long enough. Your clothes are not stylish enough. You are not educated enough. You don't have enough experience. You are not creative enough.

There is a beauty industry, a fashion industry, a television industry, and most unfortunately, a pornography industry which all have unique ways of communicating to bright young women: you are not beautiful, sexy, smart or valuable enough. You must have the clarity and common sense to know that none of that is true.

I know a girl, I will not say her name but I met her through one of my best friends. Unfortunately, I can be very judgmental and if I don't click with someone right away I can come across as insolent. When I met her we didn't really click and the more we hung out the more I realized (at that time) that I didn't want to hang out with her.

The time passed and the tension grew, my friends told me to be more understanding because she had been through a lot and was very insecure, at that time I didn't understand. It wasn't until one of my friends explained to me that she was in a five year relationship and all her ex-boyfriend did was put her down. When they would be intimate, he would call her names and tell her how she wasn't good enough for him and how her body was disgusting. In my mind I couldn't understand and/or grasp how someone could be with someone like that for so long so I blamed it on her. It was her fault for staying with him right? It took me a while to realize (I'm not sure why it took me so long because I am a Psychology minor) that women who stay with men who mentally abuse them is due to firstly not knowing any better and thinking that's the way they are supposed to be treated and secondly because they feel they can't do any better. It saddens me to know that thousands of women deal with this on a daily basis and this particular girl I am speaking about did too.

Even after finding out what she had been through I never really amended our friendship (if you would even like to call it that). Time passed and recently I went to meet my best friend somewhere and she was there, we caught up on things and this past weekend hung out just us two. I decided to choose her as my deed of the day, when I spoke to her I apologized for not being understanding in the past and for being a little on the callous side, I also told her that I really, genuinely thought she was beautiful, just the way she is. I told her that she doesn't need a man to make her feel like she's beautiful because she IS beautiful and I told her she didn't have to change anything about herself. The conversation got very emotional and I am very happy we had it.

I wanted to end this entry by saying this.... YOU reading this right now, you we're created for a purpose. You have innate value. You are loved more than you could ever comprehend and you are completely adored. There has never been, and there will never be another you. You have uniqueness to offer the world that nobody else has; they are only yours, and we all lose out if you are too fearful to share them. Your flaws are beautiful, they make you who you are. Your love makes you beautiful, the unconditional positive energy that you give when you love makes you even more beautiful. Your beautiful when you do things and think no one is watching. Your body is absolutely beautiful, with all the curves, birthmarks and freckles. You are beautiful when you laugh. You are beautiful when you smile. You are beautiful when you sleep. Beauty is not only about your looks, makeups or clothes. True beauty comes from being yourself, the more you show who you really are, the prettier you will be.

If you remember anything from this always remember.. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you think and twice as beautiful as you'd ever imagined!!!♥

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