Day 59 - Tell the people you love, "I love you".

"You don't know what you have until it is gone", I'm sure all of you are familiar with that line and have heard it throughout your lifetime. We come from a generation with so much to do and so little time to do it; it’s easy to get consumed in your own life and not tell the important people in your life how much they mean to you. If you're anything like me, you expect people to read your mind and know exactly how you feel about them, but from past experiences, I've learned that unfortunately most people don't have the "superman" power of reading minds and sometimes you just have to say exactly how you feel.

In life I've realized that one of the worst things that you can ever do is to disregard saying what you want to someone; seeing that you may not have another moment to tell them what you feel and what they mean to you. We usually assume that they will always be there but you never know what the future holds.

One of the hardest things for me to talk about are the attacks on September 11, 2001; even today, 12 years later, when I read anything or see anything regarding that day I get teary eyed and usually end up crying. Although that day was one of the worst days in history, it did teach people a valuable lesson, to love each other more and no matter what the circumstances are, always tell your loved ones you love them because you never know if you'll have that chance again.

When the passengers of Flight 93 realized what was happening, they called their wives, their husbands, their mothers, their children, to say 'I love you' one last time. All of the people that were able to call out from the towers, the messages they gave or left on the answering machine were of love; wishing they could give one last kiss, one last hug, one last goodbye. Every message that was sent out that day was one of love.

Today, I called and wrote to the people in my life who mean the most to me. I told them I appreciate every little thing they do and I am blessed to have them in my life. It felt good to say it and it also felt good to hear how those three small words made the other person so happy. I am a lucky girl to have so many people who love and support me in my life and I am sure you are just as lucky as me; so make sure not to take it for granted!

If you are reading this, please take note to perhaps live a life that is free from regrets –"tell the people you love that you love them". Tell those that you appreciate for having in your life, that you appreciate them, and if there are people in your life who you benefit from by their actions, their words, or even their simple presence, tell them.

Remember to say 'I love you' to your loved ones, but most of all, mean it. Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind. And always say “I love you” before walking out the door or hanging up the phone!

"Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though it is hard to realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and griefs which we endure help us in our marching onward."
--- Henry Ford

Day 58 - Find out how your dad proposed to your mom.

I've always been a hopeless romantic, in love with love. In my world, I believe in fairy tales and that love does come true. That's why; in today's society I am considered an idealist rather than a realist. Coming from divorced parents, that couldn't stand each other since as long as I can remember (they divorced when I was one years old), I never really stopped to ask or even think about how my father proposed to my mother.

Although, there were many bitter sweet battles between the both of them throughout my childhood, I can say that twenty years later they now get along extremely well and family events include both sides of the family including my step mother and mom's boyfriend (which adore each other).

Upon reading today's deed I can't deny I was a bit thrilled to hear how my father proposed; although they divorced fairly young, I did know that they were high school sweet hearts and madly in love with each other from the get go. So I guess you could say, when asking my mother about their proposal, I was hoping to hear about an extremely ridiculous, romantic, consuming, and amorous love story regarding the now former lovers who created me.
Instead, I got a callous dose of reality; although my mother and father "loved each other intensely",  growing up as teenagers and young adults, they didn't envision ‘jumping on a whisk’ and getting married until my mother tested positive on her pregnancy test with my older brother. When news of the pregnancy hit, my father whisked my mom away to a hole-in-the-wall (as she puts it) boutique hotel located on South Beach and asked her to marry him because they both knew it was the right thing to do. Lol. One year later, after a romantic wedding at my grandmother's house, news arrived about mistake#2, also known as little old me, and a couple years after that the battles began also known as the "D" word, divorce.

Although my parent’s story didn't end up like The Notebook, I can say I enjoyed finding out my mom and dad's history which I never even thought to ask prior to this day. If you don't already know your parent's story, you should definitely ask and watch as your mother and/or father's face light up remembering "the good old' days". Not to mention, when our parents get older, we are in the midst of our busy schedules, careers, and raising our families (if any); we never really stop to include our aging parents in our lives and show them that they are still important to us.

Remember, time passes in the blink of an eye and if you don't stop every once in a while you might miss it, and you might never have the same opportunity again to learn about your own family history's details. Don't be left with regrets in the end. Be proactive now and take the time to ask them the small simple questions which will bring happiness to the both of you by getting to know and relive the special moments. Start today by asking your parents about their proposal; I guarantee it will bring a smile to your face or at least make you laugh like mine did. ♥

 

 

 

"Love isn't practical. It isn't meant to be easy. It doesn't appear on command. It doesn't let you fall for whomever you'd like. It surfaces neither the most opportune moment nor in the most convenient. It'll pair you with someone you might never have expected. It'll put you face to face with endless obstacles. But in the end, none of that will matter because it's how you overcome its obstacles that will define your love. It may not be practical, but love is ultimately the best thing that will ever happen to you." ♥

Day 57 - Write a letter to someone who has changed your life and might not even know it.

Our life is a culmination of different experiences and interactions with other people. People come into our lives and go, but sometimes someone comes into our life and makes a huge impact, changing it drastically for the better. I'm sure everyone has at least one person who comes to mind that has made an incredible impact on them, it could have been a teacher, an ex-colleague, a professor, a dear friend, a family member, or even a distant acquaintance who said something that brought color into your world and made you see life in an entirely different perspective ever since.

Now, once you've actually thought about whom that person was in your life, the next question is... did you ever let them know?

It's important to celebrate the people who have ushered in positive meaning into our lives. In a world so hectic, and self-consumed, it’s nice to know that there are people out there who care enough to change your outlook on life and the way you observe things.

Sometimes, these people have no idea or are aware that they have made such a big influence on someone else, and letting them know about the difference they have made in your life as well as showing your appreciation to them is a great way to pay it forward. It tells them that they are doing something right and that they should continue to do what they have been doing. It tells them that the things they did to you and/or said to you really did make a difference. It tells them that they matter to someone and that they have a more important part to play in this world than they might have ever imagined.  My letter is for one of the most important people in my life, my aunt which is more like a second mother:

Tia,

Looking back on the most important moments of my life, you were always there; holding my hand, being caring and supportive, and holding a vision of my highest purpose. Since the moment I was born, you and I have shared a special type of bond, one beyond an aunt and a niece, more like a second mother and best friend who I could confide in about anything and rely on no matter what came my way. Until this very day, I still love to hear you tell me stories about when I was a baby and you, just a child yourself, taking care of me, dressing me, putting deodorant under my little arms because you thought I was a little doll, and caring me out of the crib in the middle of the night when I would cry; putting me to sleep in bed with you, wiping away my tears, hugging me, and making everything feel better. Even today, when I need a hug and a shoulder to cry on you extend it no matter what time of the day or what you’re doing.

You have shown me unconditional love and support, and above all you never stopped believing in me, always pushing me to want and to strive for more. In fact, you are the main reason I believe in myself today. You modeled for me the solid virtues of steadfast, honesty, and goodness; having the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever known and true genuinity.

I am blessed to have you in my life, and I believe that you are an angel sent to me by God, to guide me, to love me, and to comfort me throughout life’s journey, and I couldn’t picture the journey without you. I have never been perfect but you loved me anyways, treating me as if I was perfect in your eyes.

 

The light in you shines so brightly, and I hope that you can always see it; you are a true being of light and one day I would like to be more like you – a ray of sunshine always smiling and always adoring.

As I close, I can tell you my heart is full of love for you. I’ve told you many times before but I’d like to say it once more, I am who I am today because of you. You are one of the most important parts of my life and I am so grateful to have you. You are the constant in my life and whenever I feel down, I remember my family’s love for me and I really know I’m a winner too, for having such an amazing family like you. If you and the rest of our crazy, unique, amazing family love me, it doesn’t matter how anyone else in this world feels about me. I’m special – I have to be, to be loved by such loving people. I only hope that I can make an impact on your daughter’s life, like you have made on mine, because you mean the world to me; you always have and you always will. You have all of my love and I carry your heart with mine everywhere I go.

Love,

C.

Today, try to write to someone who has made an impact on your life; they definitely deserve to know and it will touch their heart knowing that they touched yours. It's said that people come into our lives for a reason, some for a season and others for a lifetime. Wisdom is discerning which is which and thanking them when it's due. ♥

“People inspire you, or they drain you – pick them wisely.” – Hans F. Hansen♥

Day 56 - Compliment a complete stranger.

In today's society, it’s very rare to interact with strangers let alone compliment them. I am one of those people, although I am extremely friendly and talkative once I know you, if I don't know you I can be pretty shy, and me going up to a complete stranger and complimenting them makes me feel like a total creeper; that's probably the reason why I kept pushing this particular deed aside.

The fact is, our population is becoming more and more antisocial on a daily basis. Even when people know each other and are on a lunch date, they are usually plugged into their phones and plugged out of having a face to face conversation. No matter where you go people are absorbed by technology, magazines, or anything that’s not related to having a one on one conversation.

There are many reasons you should compliment a stranger; I've been complimented in the past by someone I didn't know and it always leaves me feeling magnificent, especially when it’s a genuine woman complimenting me on my outfit or my hair. Even if you haven't been complimented by a stranger per say, it's always gratifying when your mom or boyfriend or bestie tells you that you have a gorgeous smile, or that you’re a knockout in that dress, or that your laugh is infectious. But when a total stranger takes the time to put you on pause and offer genuine praise, it feels utterly amazing. Compliments from strangers stick, linger, and even alter our self-perceptions. Consider the power you have to offer that to someone.

Today it was intimidating to do, but I got the courage and decided I would once and for all complete this deed. I waited for the right opportunity and something would always interfere or I would get “stage fright” as I like to call it. In the evening I had to run by Target to buy a couple of things and while standing in line at the cash register, this graceful elderly woman came and began waiting behind me. She looked tired but you could tell she took care of herself, hair done, make-up done, and matching colored outfit as well. I decided this was my chance to complete my deed; while examining her I noticed that she was wearing beautiful vintage rings on her fingers and I love anything vintage; so I took a big gulp and told her “I love your rings”, she looked up at me with a surprised face and gave me the biggest smile “thank you, my late husband gave them to me” she replied; I smiled back and said “well he had good taste”, we both giggled and after I paid I wished her a lovely night. I would like to believe that my compliment made her night and also gave her sweet memories of her departed husband.

Offering a compliment to a stranger is a gift, but since you’re reaching out to someone whose background is a total mystery, you never know how powerful your offering might become. A compliment is potent. All of us need it and they can definitely boost someone's mood and self-confidence, or in my case, make them remember someone who meant the world to them. So let's make this entry a beginning to a better tomorrow. If you like or love something, instead of staying quiet, SAY IT! Don't wait for people to smile; show them how. Let your guard down, talk to someone you don't know straight from your heart. Compliment them. Don't anticipate awkwardness, just be you in that beautiful way only you know and give them the chance to smile and connect with you.

Remember, your best friend was once a stranger too.

Love whoever is around to be loved.
-Kurt Vonnegut

Day 55 - Buy a nice water bottle, so you'll be less inclined to buy plastic bottles.

If you're anything like me, you're a fish throughout your work day. I go through water as if it’s going out of style, especially while at work. I drink up to at least a gallon of water on a normal work day so you can imagine how many plastic bottles of water I can go through.

Today’s deed of the day got me to research the contrary topic of plastic water bottles which most of us drink from on a normal day to day basis. I have always been one to think that bottled water is cleaner and healthier than drinking tap water or any other type of water but unlike contrary belief, bottled water is not healthier than regularfiltered water. In reality, bottled water is just water and not only is it costly and wasteful; but the plastic is also bad for our environment.

Although plastic is used on a daily basis just about everywhere in the world, a lot of people don't realize how harmful it really is to our environment. It takes forever to break down plastics and once it’s finally broken down, it separates into tiny toxic particles that contaminate the ground and water and ends up is most of our streams, oceans, and rivers which are then consumed by fish, those fish are later eaten by humans causing widespread harm. Not to mention, aquatic animals AND land animals eat it and suffocate, some also get it caught around their necks and bodies causing them to choke and/or suffer from it.

Some other bad effects from plastic are that it is made from oil, the less we use the more we preserve our natural resources. Also, plastic leaches into the water, liquids and foods that we eat and drink causing us to put toxins in our bodies.

It’s undeniable that we are going to use plastic in our daily lives BUT we can try to manage how much of it we use. The first step we should take is today's deed, instead of drinking numerous water bottles on a daily basis, buy a nice reusable water bottle and fill it up with filtered water instead. It's healthier for your body and you're saving the environment at the same time. As humans, it’s natural that we don't think about our future, but we should; why would we want to leave beautiful planet earth that has been so good to us, dirty and contaminated for our children and grandchildren? So today, go out there and buy a reusable water bottle and try to stop using so much plastic on an everyday basis, you can also click on this link to get ideas that will motivate you to move forward with the decision!!

Day 54 - • Smile when you talk on the phone – it makes your voice friendly.

When I'm not having the best day and a friend says something to make me laugh or smile, within seconds I automatically feel better. I remember learning about Charles Darwin in college and was fascinated by some of his ideas. Mr. Darwin was the first person to present the idea that emotional responses influence our feelings; his exact words we're "the expression by outward signs of an emotion intensifies it". Of course, there we're many psychologists and scientists after Mr. Darwin that supported his theory.

With that being said, I'm sure you've heard the expression "if you smile over the phone the person on the other end will sense it" but like me, you probably wondered if that was even possible. So I went ahead and researched the theory to see if I could find some data to support it and came upon some interesting information.

According to an article on Discovery News, a recent study proves that human being's can differentiate vocal intonation between a smile, a non-smile, and different types of smiles; "smiling affects how we speak, to the point that listeners can actually identify the type of smile based on sound alone".  And being that 84% of the overall message on aphone has to do with your tone of voice, making sure that you are giving your "smiling tone" not only puts the other person in a better mood, but smiling changes your mood into a good mood as well.

We've all experienced awful customer service over the phone, and that really bad phone call which you wish you didn't have to be on, but if smiles can be detected over a phone, why not cheer yourself up by smiling and maybe the person on the other end can sense your smile and soften up a little bit. In the wise words of one of my favorite, most influential people of all time, Buddha, “all that we are is the result of what we have thought”.♥

 

Day 53 - Buy a stranger a coffee.

It's pretty funny because this morning I did today's deed without even knowing it was a deed. I usually make my coffee in the office upon arriving in the morning but today I had the urge to stop at 7-Eleven to buy a doughnut and a 5-Hour Energy drink which I barely treat myself too.

While waiting in line with my goodies at hand a clearly homeless gentleman walked in; instead of going to get what he came for he started pacing back and forth in the front of the store while mumbling to himself. Usually I would get very nervous and try to bail out as soon as possible but this particular morning I got a deep desire to offer him food.

For those that know me, it may come as a shocker but I am a pretty shy person if I don't know somebody; I am very un-confrontational and rather not talk to someone than to start a conversation with a stranger so I really didn't even know how to offer him anything without making him feel belittled.

I slowly and quietly said "excuse me sir, would you like a doughnut?” the surprised homeless gentleman looked at me and said "yes, yes I would". I automatically gave him the one in my hand and as I went to get another one I said "are you thirsty? Would you like anything to drink?" again he replied "yeah, yeah I want somethin' to drink" so I guided him to choose anything he wanted to drink or eat in the store and that I would pay for it. He walked over to the coffee machine and as he poured his coffee I paid for the items; as he walked out of the store with his black coffee and doughnut at hand I told him to have a good day. The cashier told me he was in earlier that day and purchased a bunch of food, I then proceeded to tell her that I didn't mind buying him anything he wanted even if it left me broke as long as it was food; you see, something I was taught from my parents growing up is that even if I had one dollar left in my pocket and someone was hungry, to use that dollar although it would leave me moneyless so that the person could eat, and still until this day it's something I've always done. Needless to say I didn't expect it to be a deed.

We spend so much money on things we don't really use nor need, why not buy a meal for a person who goes to sleep hungry every night? I've said it before and I will say it again, we never stop to be grateful for all of the things we have which others don't.

Share your blessings and they are sure to come back even more so. Whether it's a granola bar or a bottle of water, today try to give food to someone who's homeless, I surely guarantee that the feeling will melt your heart and make you want to give more, more often. ♥