In life, every single relationship you will have will require work; whether it be family, romantic, or friendship. There will always be hard times & good times, it's easy to enjoy the good times but when someone’s there for you through the bad – that’s true friendship. It basically comes down to you deciding whether working on that relationship is worth it or not.
According to one of my favorite philosophers of all time, Aristotle, there are three types of friendships throughout our lifetime: friendships of utility, friendships of pleasure, & friendships of the good.
I. Friends of Utility also known as friends of usefulness exist between you & someone who is useful to you in some way or the other. For instance, perhaps you’re friendly with your co-worker in the office next to yours because he helps you figure out the printer when it jams, or you keep in contact with that single girl from your study group because when you have no one else to go out with you know she's always accessible. Basically you scratch my back & I'll scratch yours; business partners, co-workers, & classmates often fit into this category.
II. Next there's Friendships of Pleasure better known as friendships of mutual interests, they exist between those whose company you enjoy. The foundation of this friendship is a similar interest; in example sharing the same hobby such as painting, going for long bike rides, or gym buddies. This is the kind of person in which you enjoy a little chit-chat or a good joke. You& this person share a common enjoyment, & that's where your friendship is ingrained. If you lose interest in that common pleasure, there's a big possibility the friendship will end.
III. Finally, saving the best for last, there's Friendships of the Good, better known as friendships of virtue. These types of friendships are based on mutual respect& admiration; they are usually the types of friendships that take longer to build than the other two kinds -- but they're also more powerful & enduring. You value one another as individuals, enjoy each other’s company& share similar values & goals. You are their friend, not for how they can benefit you or how they can bring you gratification, but simply because you are fond of them. This is definitely the highest form of friendship.
If you have a friendship of asset, you must realize it's hard to come about & you should work hard at maintaining it. They say that mending a rift in a friendship requires courage, honesty, & understanding; I agree to a certain extent, but the way I see it is that it's as simple as -- letting go of your pride.
The older I've gotten, I've learned that it is better to lose your pride with someone you love rather than to lose that someone you love with your useless pride. If I'm wrong, I admit I'm wrong because I don't want to be one of those people whose pride overtakes their happiness. I've had a friend whom I have been on a rocky foundation with for the last month or so. She recently ended things with her boyfriend & contacted me to apologize & say she missed me, I of course didn't reply because my thoughts were instantly 'friendship of utility'. Today, I decided to step up & let her know how I felt; we ended up mending our friendship & it felt nice knowing that I'm not being prideful or boastful, rather doing what I do best & being loving. You can't expect everyone to treat you how you treat them, but you can give them love from afar & not let their lack of enthusiasm affect you.
Today, be the bigger person & mend a rift in a friendship – especially if it's a friendship of high merit. Even if it's not, forgive that person, show them your peace & love so that you can move on with joy & happiness in your heart rather than arrogance. It will feel great in the long run & you'll know that as you travel along this path called life, you won't be leaving any feelings of regret, negativity, or pride behind you. ♥
“No one can make you feel inferior without your
consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt. ♥