Day 28 - Allow everyone else to go first all day.

When I read my deed of the day I took it literally, not just to allow people to walk in front of me or to hold the door but to literally let everyone go first, speak first, walk first, take the first bite of the dessert, etc. For those of you who know me know that allowing everyone to go first all day is nearly impossible for me. I have always been one to interrupt people when they are talking because I am so excited to say my side of the story. I love taking the first bite out of everything hence the fact that I used to tell my little cousins growing up "let me try it first, I want to make sure it's not poisonous; I'm doing it for your safety"; they believed it until they we're around 9 years old and then they would just roll their eyes and laugh.


I started the day by opening the door for everyone and letting them walk inside places first which was fairly easy. This task did not really get difficult until we went to an employee lunch, whenever people would be in a story and I wanted to add my two cents, I would go to interrupt them and then completely remember my deed and bite my tongue. It was definitely harder than I thought it would be. When the food came out, it took every single bone in my body to offer everyone a taste before I took a bite. As the day progressed my deed got harder and harder but by the evening I was so used to it I didn't have to think twice about allowing someone to go first which was definitely odd for me.


What I learned from this is... it's actually nice to let someone talk without interrupting them because I got more of a chance to listen to their story and actually focus on what they we're saying instead of thinking about what I wanted to say. And in return I found that when I let people finish their story without cutting them off, they would do the same with me. Now, the whole letting them take a bite first? I didn't learn anything from that and will choose not to do so anymore! Lol jk jk! Seriously, I've come to notice that people are usually so consumed with themselves, it's kind of sad that people always think about themselves and I am ashamed to say I am one of them. This deed definitely made me realize it's actually nice to listen and not be the one talking all of the time. It's truly nice to see someone’s face full of delight when they take the first bite of the cheesecake and it's really nice to open the door for someone, it proves chivalry isn't dead. I encourage you to try that today, allow everyone to go first all day and I am pretty sure you’re going to feel just like me at the end of the day, happy I did so! Trust me, if I can do it, ANYONE can do it!!

Day 27 - Find ways to help others avoid embarassment.

Firstly I would like to apologize for skipping some days with my entries; I caught a bad flu and have been home in bed with a fever feeling near death. Either way that is no excuse and I promise it won't happen again.

Today’s deed was a bit more on the difficult side because I really didn't know how I was going to proceed with helping someone avoid embarrassment. I didn't go in to work today because I am still trying to beat this flu out of my system but I could definitely get out of bed so I decided to do some mind cleansing with yoga and then hit the sauna afterwards to sweat everything out. I was a little stressed trying to figure out how I was going to complete my deed and worried that I wouldn't have an entry and go yet another day without a post and then it hit me.

As I was walking into the half empty gym, there was a young girl in front of me checking in. I see her put her number in the check in keyboard and as she goes to quickly walk away the man at the front desk yelled "excuse me mam’ can you please come back here?”.  She turned around with a very nervous face and the man started asking her questions claiming that she didn't look like the girl in the picture. Many times I had been a witness of this, someone trying to sneak into the gym with someone else’s membership; usually I would just walk around them and continue on my way. But this time I politely proclaimed "I am sorry to interrupt but this is definitely the girl in the picture, she is in my yoga class and I see her on a weekly basis", the girl looked shocked and the guy look puzzled but he of course didn't want to debate and agreed to let her in with an apology. As I went to walk away the girl thanked me numerous times.

Although the situation was nothing major and it was a petty deed it really made me smile knowing that I had helped someone else out. So many times we run into small situations that we could make a difference in but we always choose to go on with our own lives and not help out a stranger. Next time you run into a situation where not only could you help someone avoid embarrassment but you could also make their day, do it!! It's the small things that count in this world and many good small deeds could eventually turn into an amazing big deed!!

Day 26 - Be quick to apologize.

When I read this deed I thought to myself, what am I going to apologize for or to whom? I didn't really think on a normal basis things happened that you found the need to apologize for. But I went forward with my day thinking about ideas on how I could complete my deed.

The more the day went on, the more I noticed myself apologizing; for not responding to an e-mail rapid enough, to cutting the car off while driving, to apologizing to a tenant for someone else’s mistake. Even though I was apologizing for something I didn't do, I noticed every single time I got the same reaction... calmness and appreciation. Every time I said those two words "I apologize", the person on the other ends mood would completely do a turn around. It is very rare to hear someone say they are sorry whether for something petty, something big, or something someone else did; what you’re doing by apologizing is acknowledging that there was a problem in the first place whether it was done by you or by someone else. I've always been one to automatically apologize for something but when I first started at my job my boss whom is like a father would always tell me "never apologize for something, for when you apologize you are taking fault for something as if you did something wrong". On the contrary from what he said I would always still apologize because I found that when I would do so most would become at peace and cooperate more with you.

Too often we are quick to judge and slow to apologize. Worse yet, we justify our actions by saying something like, "everyone does it" or "no big deal". It takes courage to admit a mistake. Ben Ames Williams said this about courage; "life is the acceptance of responsibilities, or their evasion; it is a business of meeting obligations, or avoiding them". What I learned from today’s deed is, be quick to apologize and you will be living your very best life. We've all heard the saying "be quick to forgive". The saying, "be quick to apologize" is just as important, and much more difficult to carry out. Apologies are ego-killers.

And when you go to apologize always remember this... sorry doesn't mean they're right, and you're wrong. It means you value your relationship more than your ego!!

Day 25 - Pay for someone behind you at the lunch counter.

I figured the best time to do this deed would be on my lunch hour at work; I tend to be on the shy side if I don't know someone and I definitely didn't want to be thanked for my deed face to face. So on my lunch break I went to Wendy's fast food restaurant drive thru to buy myself a salad; I took my time before ordering waiting for someone to pull up behind me. An older Hispanic woman pulled up in a falling apart car and I knew right away she was the perfect candidate. When I got to the window to pay I nervously asked the cashier how much the ladies bill was behind me, she told me it was $7.43 and I told her I would like to pay for it. She had to get her manager to override the transaction so that I could pay for both together. I go to that particular Wendy’s for salads several times a month and the cashier working had seen me several times previously, she smiled as she handed me back my card.

Once I paid for both meals I sped up to the second window and in my head I was thinking "please hurry up, please hurry up". I wonder what the cashier said to her and I wonder what she thought when she found out I had paid. As I drove off I looked at her car and she wasn't looking at me at all so I drove off. It wasn't until I got to my office that I decided to Google similar people who had performed the same deed; I found several and all made me realize that I had completed my deed incorrectly.

My book just read "pay for the person behind you" but after researching I found I was either a) supposed to give the cashier a card that read "pay it forward" or b) tell the cashier that I was doing a random act of kindness and that I hoped they would do the same thing for someone else in the future. When I read this I was so distraught, I felt like I had done the deed wrong and for nothing. What if she thought I was just a creepy girl who paid for her meal or someone who felt sorry for her etc. I started asking people in my office and they assured me the person thought it was an act of kindness. I hope that was the case, I remember long ago when I was younger I was driving on the highway and when I got to the toll the cashier told me the person in front had paid for me. It was only $0.75 cents but that completely made my day and made me smile from ear to ear; I hope that was the case with the person I paid for. Even if for only a minute, an hour, a day or a week I hope I made her smile and know that nice people do exist and acts of kindness do happen!

Day 24 - Be mindful of saying "Please" and "Thank-you" and "You'rewelcome" - all day long.

Growing up I was always very courteous and said please, thank you and you're welcome; manners was something that we we're taught since we we're young and it was something that was very important in my family. I didn't notice until recently that most people don't say please or thank you enough, I've noticed it at restaurants, or anywhere with customer service. I guess people assume that since they are getting paid for working it's their job to do it and you shouldn't have to say please nor thank you - wrong, you should always use manners and once you do you will realize not only that people will be much nicer but in turn will want to give you better service.

Something I started doing as an adult is writing thank you notes because I noticed that whenever I would receive one it would make me so happy. Happy that someone noticed my nice gesture enough to write me a note. So when someone does something nice for me I make it a point to send them a thank you note and you should too.

• When someone gives you a present…write a thank you note.
• When someone acts as your reference….write a thank you note.
• When you go to an interview for a job...write a thank you note for their time.
• When someone invites you to dinner at their house...write a thank you note.
• When someone takes the time to help you….write a thank you note.
• When someones sits there listening to you vent...say thank you for listening.

That little gesture you make by taking 2 minutes of your busy life to write a note to them will totally make their day, because now a days nice gestures are usually expected and usually  go without a genuine "thank you". Trust me, that little thank you note will make a huge impression on that person.

I don't know about you but when someone cuts me off on the highway or anywhere for that matter I get legitimate road rage but it's amazing how much calmer I get if that person waves a "thank you" as they're switching lanes.

You never know how much it might mean to someone or how much it may validate all the work they put into something or how big of a smile it might bring to their face. Along with saying thank you, saying please and you're welcome are important words to use in your vocabulary as well. Having manners is something that makes people see you in a different light. When you ask for something even if it's work related always say "please"; it makes people want to help you or do that favor for you because you're asking nicely and not just expecting it!

Today for mydeed of the day not only did I manage to over-use the words "please","thank you" and "you're welcome" but I also decided tothank everyone in my life who has made an impact on me because I don't wantthat to go unnoticed. Also, I noticed while ordering food when I was eating out,the second I would say "please" or "thank you" theemployee's attitude would completely change in a good way and it definitelymade a difference which encouraged me to show more gratitude. Lesson fortoday... HAVE GRATITUDE AND MANNERS PEOPLE and you will notice the differenceon an everyday basis.
So go out there today and say thank you:

• Call your family and say thanks for being there for you always.
• Leave a comment on your favorite blog especially if you've never commented before, say thanks for writing.
• Leave an extra tip for your waiter/waitress and say thanks for a great meal
• Thank someone you see doing a usually thankless job like collecting trash and/or cleaning the bathroom.
• Send a note to a friend and say thanks for sticking by your side over the years.

Because I think a lot of people truly underestimate the power of a simple “thank you”!!

Every single one of us has so much to be thankful for, so give thanks for it and say THANK YOU!

Believe me it will be worth your while and will really make a difference. So while I am at it, here is my thank you...

• To everyone, if anyone, takes the time to read my blog.
• To all of my friends and family who motivate me every single day.
• To my entire support system for everything you do every single day.
• To anyone I have actually encouraged to do better in this world.

I know I don't say it enough but thank you! And if you're in the neighborhood can you "please" bring me a cupcake? Lol jk.♥

Day 23 - Ask a friend who seems down to go for a walk.

Today, when I went for a walk with my friend, we spoke about everything except for what was really bothering her. We laughed about stupid things and I didn't want to ruin it because she was happy and her being happy makes me happy. What I really wanted to tell her was... I'm not going to sit here and act like I know everything, how you're feeling or what you're going through. But I promise it will get better, however sometimes things have to get worse before they get better, it sucks but it almost always works out pretty well in the end. I know sometimes you feel alone, you lock yourself in your room and you want nothing more than to fall asleep and forget everything or you go for a long drive to clear your mind. I want you to always remember that the people around you, friends, family and especially me will always love you.

I'll always be here through thick and thin, you can come to me, I'll listen. I'm your friend, I won't push you away. When you need a hug, my arms are wide open. When you need to talk, I have an open ear. You’re growing up and getting older, know that I'm always here, I'm not going anywhere. You're in my heart and my prayers. Just know I'm here because I truly care. You're my sister, you mean so much. Don't want to see you hurt or cry, I'll wipe the tears, I'll get rid of your fears. Want to see you grow up and achieve. Just believe, have faith. You can do anything. You're beautiful inside and out. You're smart and very talented. You're many things, but most of all, you're my sister. I believe in you and know that I'll never stop loving you.

What I learned from today's deed is when you walk with a friend, you don't walk for them, ahead of them or behind them - but next to them. I am blessed with good friends who are walking with me. These are the friends who understand and do not get upset if I don't return a phone call, or turn down going out; they are the ones who just sit and allow me to be silent or be talkative, allowing me to be social or slip into solitude and for that I am blessed to have them in my life. Do you have any friends like that? If you do, tell them how much you appreciate them today and maybe even go for a walk with them when times are good or bad!!

Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow. – Helen Keller

Day 22 - Say hello to strangers, especially to the elderly.

One of the reasons I have always loved going out on the boat is that once you’re out on the ocean every one waves at each other. It's like on land your one person and on the ocean the niceness inside of you just comes out. I always wondered why that never happens on land. Is it really that hard to say hello to each other?

I usually try to be as friendly as possible on a normal basis so I didn't find today's task difficult at all. I love smiling at strangers because most times than not they give you the biggest smile back. I work doing property management for a large outdoor commercial property that has retail stores and restaurants and I usually have to walk the property to talk to tenants. As I walked the property I said hello to a couple of customers and the nice thing is they always smiled and said hello back. After the day was over I changed into running clothes and went to run the bleachers at the park, around that time the track is usually filled with people. I didn't want to be that creeper girl that says hello to people while they are running so I waited to finish my laps and as I was finishing my bottle of water I said hello to whom ever walked by. Once again, I found that mostly everyone said hello back with a smile on their faces and some even told me to have a good evening. It feels good to interact with strangers and to say hello. Unfortunately I didn't see many elderly today so I couldn't really say hello to them. I will definitely continue saying hello to strangers and as soon as an elderly person crosses my path I will update this entry.
One of the strangest parts about big cities is how little we talk to one another despite being stacked on top of each other like cans of soup. You would think that such close quarters would give you a desire to meet everyone around you, but instead it draws people further apart. I am not saying the key to happiness lies in talking to everyone you meet but sometimes it's nice to interact with people. One of the most important commandments is love thy neighbor, how many people actually know their neighbors? You would be amazed at how many people have lived somewhere for years and until this day have no idea who their next door neighbors are.

I challenge you to go out there tomorrow and say hello to 3 strangers, I am positive that at the end of the day you will want to say hi to many more. Share your experiences; let me know how it went, good or bad. :)